What do you see when you look in the mirror? That little girl that was abandoned and not protected by the ones that were suppose to shield her from all harm? The little girl that wasn't good enough? The little girl you hated? Do you see someone weak, maybe a broken mess? Do you see someone who lacks confidence, your hurts and pains, unworthy of love, of finding a good man, undeserving of good things because of shame and regret you so tightly hold on to? Do you see what he did to you? Do you see only scars?
I know the world likes to see you for everything you’ve done, good or bad. I know your friends like to bring up the past and tell you that it’s okay to your face, but criticize and slander your name when you aren’t looking. I know that your church loves you when you stay pure, substance free and love God by being perfect and flawless. But this is a letter to the women who have experienced rejection from the church; as soon as you don’t show up one Sunday or let a curse word fly or make a “mistake,” you are shunned or don’t feel welcomed.
This is a letter for the sometimes lost, sometimes broken, sometimes lonely women.
You are labeled by everything you do, and the pressure that is coming at you from every angle can be unbearable. Who can you turn to when everyone has turned away? Who is there to lift you up when you can’t pick yourself up off the bathroom floor?
I will give you the answer to that question.
Jesus.
Jesus is there, every time. Through every drunken night, through every one night stand. Through every curse word, every regret that you have hidden from the world. Everything that was done to you that was not your fault, when you were taken advantage of or you took advantage of somebody else. He is there. He looks past the hurt, pain and scars, shame and regret. He looks for the princess that His father created. He looks for the sister that He saved from death and despair when He hung on a cross to die.
There is an amazing story of Jesus showing grace and love to a woman in the Bible. this story is found in John 8:2-11. This woman had a reputation, and leaders in the town found her committing a sin. They pulled her from where she was found and drug her through the square. These men threw her in front of Jesus, ready to thrown stones at her.
Then He turn towards her accusers and asked what she had done.
They repeated her transgressions with great delight, as if exposing her made them feel better about themselves. Jesus said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus bent back down and kept drawing in the sand.
One by one they threw their stones down to ground and walked away, humbled and ashamed. After the last left, Jesus looked up from his drawing, and at the woman again. It was just the woman and Jesus.
What we find strange today is that Jesus was without sin, yet he looks graciously upon us as sinners. He didn’t pick up a stone of judgment or hate or malice or disappointment and throw it at her with all of his might. Sometimes we forget that after all the stones we’ve had thrown our way, Jesus is the only one who won’t. He didn’t turn away from her and run. He didn’t tell her that she wasn’t good enough.
He loved her.
He accepted her for everything that she was. All of the baggage she brought with her. For all of her flaws, imperfections, and wonderfulness. The wonderfulness that comes with being a woman, a woman who is so dearly loved! He looked upon her with compassion and knew she was more then her past, more then an object..... We are also accepted for the beauty that was created in His likeness. Because you are beautiful, and you are so loved.
And that is what men should do. They should love and cherish everything about you, never casting a stone. And I’m sorry for those who have. I know there are good men out there, but I know you’ve met plenty of bad ones along the way. Lots of times we kiss a lot of frogs before we kiss our prince. It is part of learning.... Forgive them and don’t cast stones back, either. I can promise you, it doesn't make you feel any better. ( more on this issue later)... If you have already cast stones back out of desperation and despair, don't let it shut you down from the shame and regret you feel. We all make mistakes and do things we don't mean at times. The reality of it all is HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE. Its true, you never know what's going on in someone's life to cause them to act out a certain way. Be flexible and forgiving. This is part of what love really means. The ones that know you and love you, know the real you. Most importantly, Jesus has forgiven you. You are loved unconditionally by him, with no condemnation. That's all that really matters.
So, What do you see when looking at the mirror now? It is my hope and prayer that you see someone who is loved and accepted. You are someone who is deserving of joy and happiness, who can do anything. You are someone who has the confidence to walk with her head held high. You love your family and friends without holding back. You bare stretch marks from birthing children. You hold and nurture and have abilities to make the world come back together when it feels like the pieces have fallen apart. You have a unique story, you are ever deserving and worthy, You are beautiful, you are good, you are a child of God. Perfection, created to love and be loved. Don't ever forget sweet friends, YOU ARE MORE then your past! You have been bought with a price and are chosen by the God of this universe to matter right where you are! YOU, yes, YOU!!!!!!
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